Buffybad
by TheDude82
Summary: What happens when the scooby gang meets the trio from Superbad


Fan Fiction: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Superbad_

Notes and disclaimers: I do not own either BtVS or SB: they are owned by Mutant Enemy Productions and Colombia Pictures respectively. This takes place after the end of Season 7 on Buffy and shortly after the end of the movie Superbad. The first name of Fogell and the last names of Seth and Evan are not mentioned in the movie, so I made some up just for the heck of it. This story contains adult content and is not for people under 18 (21 in some areas.

The Scooby gang looked, with a mixture of sadness and satisfaction, at the enormous crater that was left of their hometown of Sunnydale. Buffy Summers knew that their actions had saved the world from the plans of the first and other evils and awaked other slayers to combat other evils in the world. However, she was unsure what the next step in her life would be.

"So what now" asked her watcher, Rupert Giles, who had been driving the bus they had escaped in.

"For now, lets head to Los Angeles" Dawn Summers replied from behind both Giles and Buffy. " I have an online friend who lives there; maybe we can crash at his place for a while".

"Is is a boy or girl, Dawnie?" asked Buffy

"If you must know, it is a guy" replied Dawn, rolling her eyes. "I do not know his real name, but his myspace name is McLovin and he has just graduated with honors from high school and will be attending Dartmouth in the fall"

"You actually believe that?" shouted Buffy. "it could easily be a serial killer or vampire or demon"

"Or a giant praying mantis" mentioned Xander Harris, who was standing nearby

Impatient, Giles cut in to the argument "I have to remind you all, we are out in the middle of nowhere and several of the people here need prompt medical attention. Dawn, contact this friend of yours with your cell phone and see if we can stay for a while. In the meantime, we will head for Los Angeles and go to the nearest hospital"

Xander and Willow Rosenberg, though nervous about staying with a person anyone had met online, realized they were out of options and nodded their heads in agreement, but Buffy was overprotective of her sister and quickly voiced against it.

"Absolutely not!" she spat "I refuse to let my younger sister be in the same house as a person she met online" Come on, we'll find a motel or something"

"Buffy, we have no money and no other choice" Willow said.

"Oh all right" replied Buffy in a grumpy tone of voice "Make the call, Dawnie, but you may NOT sleep in the same room as this guy no matter how nice he turns out to be"

"Right away sister" Dawn begin texting on her cell phone. A few minutes later, Dawn got a response and stated out loud "McLovin says it is okay to stay with him, but he is often not home due to partying with his friends Seth and Evan"

"Maybe this won't be so bad after all" stated Buffy, relieved.

"Well let's go" stated Giles. He started the engine and began the three hour drive to Los Angeles. The entire group took one last look at the remains of Sunnydale.

Less than a month had passes since the party at Jule's house and the wild night that preceded it. Seth Williams, Evan Liles, and Scott Fogell had since graduated high school and were taking a well deserved summer off to party before college. Fogell had graduated valedictorian and Evan was not far behind (they both were going to be roommates at Dartmouth). Seth, meanwhile, had gotten accepted into a different school and was looking forward not to the education but to having sex with as many different women as possible.

At the moment, the three of them were hanging out in Seth's basement. Seth was watching porn on the internet, Evan was playing "Call of Duty" on the Playstation, and Fogell was talking on a chat room with a person he had met online.

"Hey guys. Check this one out! This is the craziest site I have ever seen ever" Seth shouted at the others. "This Swedish sight involves a random person coming into a house off the street and a nude girl answering the door and the two promptly start having hardcore sex on the floor!"

"Honestly man, do you ever think about anything else since you broke up with Jules?" replied Evan as he walked over to Seth's computer. "Didn't you learn that from than whole incident last month that women are people and not objects"

"Yes, but I feel that the more of this I watch, the better at sex I will become so that when I get to college and meet women from all over"

"Wow. This is messed up. How do they convince women to do this to just any random guy they meet? Don't they know the risks?"

"I hate to break up this awesome evening, but I need to go home." Fogell stated from across the room. "I have a friend coming to visit from out of town and she and her sister and friends need a place to crash for a while"

"What's her name?" asked Evan curiously.

"Well obviously we do not use our real names on a chat room, but she goes by the name "MorningGlory"

Seth looked up from his computer and asked eagerly "Does she have any good looking friends who are single?"

"She has an older sister and about eight other friends coming with her" said Fogell "she did not say how many were men or women.

"Well lets go there" stated Seth in a sudden and stern voice "this may turn out to be the night of our lives!"

"Be sensitive, Seth" replied Fogell. "They are refugees from a disaster in their home town, so be a little nicer than your usual self. Now they should be getting here in about twenty minutes, so let's go."

They all got in Seth's car and began the short drive to Fogell's house. It was a good thing his parents were out of town for a week.

Seth, Evan, and Fogell had barely arrived at Fogell's home when they heard a bus drive up. There was soon a knock on the door and Fogell answered it while the other two looked on eagerly. In the door stood a girl of about sixteen and about the same height as himself.

"Are you MorningGlory?" he asked

"Yes I am. My name is Dawn Summers. You must be McLovin" the girl responded.

"In the flesh. My name is Scott Fogell. Please come in." He motioned her in and she proceeded, followed by Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, and two other women followed. They all went to the living room where Seth and Evan had sat down on a sofa. They began to go through the rounds of introducing each other; Fogell began.

"This is Seth. He is a bit short tempered and strange, but overall is a nice guy." Fogell pointed at Seth, who nodded and was extremely jittery from being nervous

"This is Evan. He will be rooming with me in college this fall." Evan had a similar reaction, but replied "nice to meet you" 

Dawn began her rounds of introducing everyone to the three. She introduced people in a clockwise fashion and pointed them out as she spoke.

"First off, this is my sister Buffy Summers." Buffy nodded and locked a brief mutual glance with Seth.

Dawn continued "These are our friends Xander, Willow, Giles, Kennedy, and Cao Anh." They all nodded.

"So what exactly happened to your hometown?" asked Evan.

"Earthquake" replied Buffy

"Massive Sinkhole" replied Giles simultaneously.

"Ooooo your British?" replied Seth in a mocking tone. Everyone ignored him.

"come on. What really happened" replied Evan rolling his eyes.

"The truth is far more complicated and we will explain everything later" said Willow

"Fair enough"

"You all must be tired after the trip" stated Fogell "Please help yourselves to some sodas and beer in the fridge and then I will give some blankets and pillows for tonight"

"Thank you so much for doing all this on such short notice" replied Dawn, who walked over to Fogell, hugged him, and began to kiss him, but Buffy cleared her throat suddenly and she backed off.

They all went to the kitchen, got drinks, and returned to the living room for around another hour of talking. Then, Fogell distributed blankets and pillows and the three of them went to Fogell's room to go to bed. On the way, Seth noticed that there was a note that had been slipped discreetly into his rear pocket. It read:

Meet me in the master bedroom at 2:30 am. Come discreetly. Buffy.

Seth, Evan, and Fogell spent the next 45 minutes talking about everything, then went to bed. It was 1:00 am.

At 2:25, Seth woke up and quietly walked down the hallway to Fogell's parents' bedroom. It was empty. He waited for about 10 minutes until he saw the door open and Buffy entered in a sleeveless nightgown. Seth felt like his heart skipped a beat. She went to the bed and laid down next to him and began to explain exactly who they were.

"Seth, all that I am about to explain to you is going to seem hard to believe at first, but you must promise to listen to me" said Buffy

"Hey, I have a weird secret too" replied Seth "I will fully understand anything you have to say"

"I am a vampire slayer." stated Buffy while looking Seth in the eye. "I was chosen to save the world from all manners of evil. Giles here is my watcher, who basically trains and mentors me. All of the people here except Xander and Willow are also slayers as of this morning. We just won a war against the greatest evil the world has ever known, but in the process, a good friend of mine had to sacrifice his life and our town was destroyed in the process" She told Seth more about some of her adventures.

"So let me get this straight" asked Seth after about 10 minutes of nonstop listening. "You are a vampire slayer chosen completely randomly, two of you ex boyfriends were vampires, Xander was engaged to a 1,200 year old ex demon, Willow is a witch, and Kennedy and the others just became slayers this morning. Just one thing puzzles me now: if you still live, how can another slayer be called?"

"Willow cast a powerful spell to infuse the power of a magical weapon that I found earlier on every potential slayer on the planet. Now, there are thousands of slayers like me. Seth I know what I say is hard to understand, but please listen to me when I say it is all true"

"Wow, just wow!" Seth replied "This makes my secret seem like nothing at all."

"I still want to hear it" said Buffy

"All right, here it comes. I have only told Evan about this so far." Seth began reluctantly "When I was a kid, I had a sort of mental obsession…. with dicks. For some reason, I was obsessed with drawing penises all day in school and other places. I could not understand it; I couldn't even touch a pen to a piece of paper without drawing the shape of a dick."

Buffy looked stunned "Okayyyyyyyyyy, this is weird I've never heard anything like this before" she said "How did you ever get over it"

"I'm getting to it. When I was in fourth grade, a classmate found one of my drawings and reported me to the principle, who found my hidden stash of dick drawings. He called my parents, had a long talk with them, and they forced me to see a psychologist. To make matters worse, the principle was a religious fanatic who believed I was possessed by an evil spirit and he began performing all these weird rituals on me. I was even forced to stop eating foods that were shaped like dicks! After about a year, my obsession just went away and I never drew another picture like that again"

"Wow. That's messed up." Said a puzzled Buffy "And I thought we were all weird, Anyway, I don't want to sleep alone tonight after what I went through, so I thought we could sleep together, just for the night, if that is okay with you?"

"Absolutely!" replied Seth

They promptly cuddled up in each other's arms and were both asleep within minutes.

End of part 1, more to come…


End file.
